still fits

All of my babes have spent much time in this sling. But today, I'm thinking about Calvin in particular - because really he's clearly 'outgrown' the sling itself, but certainly not the sentiment behind it, and I don't think he ever will (do we ever? I don't think so.) So now we get that same connection in other ways, and just as naturally - a snuggle, a hug, a touch, or even just the way we look at each other.

I carried him in this very sling for hours upon hours of every day of his new life six years ago. He slept in it, nursed in it, shed tears in it, and laughed in it. And even as he grew, and started to crawl, then walk, run, skip, and eventually cartwheel...it's always been a place of refuge for him - however brief the visit to it might be. The snug little spot that it is - either in the sling or out, where he puts his head right next to my heart and I can see in his eyes that he knows he is loved, cared for and safe. And I have a moment of peace, pride and confidence -however brief it may be - that I know that I'm doing my job well. And that everything is exactly as it should be.

I can (and do) pop a baby in this sling in seconds even in the middle of a sleep - it feels so second nature. Knowing just where the little hands and fingers will lay along my side, where the seam of the sling fits on thier body - it's all etched in my mind. And it's etched in my body - etched in the way that one shoulder and arm is so much stronger, and bigger, than the other from always carrying on that side. The way my hip bones have surely shifted to accomodate this. The same way that one breast is larger than the other from more frequent nursing. Long after there is no baby in my sling, or on my hip, or at my side, I'll still have these reminders. And my greatest parenting hope is that my babies will have them too. That as they leave my breast, my sling, my hip, and our home, they'll remember it. They'll remember it with thier bodies in a way that they never doubt, and in way that they no longer need me for, and in a way that forever brings them peace and comfort. They'll remember that they are loved so very completely.
 

Comments

[debra]

Your words are so sweet, they make me want to cry! Those early years are so precious. I admire you for wanting to hold onto them as long as possible ;-)

[Stephanie]

ugg..tears. What a sweet, sweet post. Your children are so lucky to have such an amazing mother. They know it though...you can see it in their eyes with every picture you take. =)

[jen j-m]

oh, wuzzle. that's the BEST.

[autumn]

Beautifully said...did you make the sling?

[natalie]

tears are rolling down my face...so touching!!!

[Eren]

Oh, man....now Im all weapy and want to go get my sling and put all 3 of mine in there together. I feel the same way about having them all bounc around in our bed this morning. The bed that my father was conceived in and me and my brother and our three. Some people think it is creepy, but I love it. Security.

[Sarah]

Oh! Now I'm crying!

Beautiful words... thank you. It was a privilege to read.

[krista]

You're children are lucky to have you. (and you them of course, but you know that)

And I agree with Stephanie, you can see that your kids think you're the best thing since sliced bread- you CAN see it in their eyes, in every pictures.

[Peitseoga]

lovely post, don't have any children (yet! hope to within the next few years...) but like the idea of the sling, did you make it? do you knot it or is it one continuous piece? i always admire the african women i see in town who carry their babies on their back or front, the little ones seem so content!

[mamaloo, the doula]

I know how you feel. My son is about to turn four and while I am pregnant with a new child, knowing that I shall never again nurse or wear my older son is sad when I think on it. The wearing part of early parenting is one thing I am very much looking forward to.

[Tasha-Rose]

Itmade me so sad when Grace no longer wanted to be worn....I still wear Zoe, but at a mere 15 months, she even wants to be wild and carefree like Big Sister. :(

What beautiful words!

[lk]

Oh phoo. No fair making me cry before 10 am! I love wearing my babies and I'm wearing my last little one right this minute, and she's fast asleep.

[Lynn]

Such beautiful words! I have a baby in a sling right now. One arm is stronger, one hip a little more pronounced I think and one breast defently larger (ack!). Love the sling!

[melissa]

What a beautiful post!! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I too think about when my Jack (3) was a baby and the sweet, sweet times we had (especially nursing) and it's like I can feel it again. Life seemed so much simpler when I had my baby attached to me for so much of the day. I miss that so much.

Often, I'll grab him as he's running by with his cars/dinosaurs/whatever and I'll hug him and ask him if he'll "be my baby" again. Then he'll let me cradle him and he says "mama mama" in a little pretend baby voice while I smother him with kisses. Then he's off running again. I love it!

I think it's time for me to have another baby!! (o:

[Christelle]

An incredible picture full of love exactly like your post. Simplicity and true love make a lot of emotion.
Have a nice week-end :)

[Amanda]

Beautiful...Thank you.

[Kate]

A~ *This* is why I love your blog. Words.
Your words.
K~

[Shaylind]

You made me tear up. Beautiful.

[brandie]

umm...hello! you know i am all emotionally unbalanced over here. make me cry why don't you! no really, such a sweet post amanda. and how crazy cute that cal still fits in the sling. look how happy he is...he will definitely take those memories with him.

[mom to be]

I am due to have my first precious baby in October. I don't know if it's all the hormones or just the sweet post but I am in tears of happiness over here. I can't wait to experience what you've described. And I aspire to be as creative and caring a mother as you are Amanda. You are my inspiration in motherhood.

[Jess H.]

This is a beautiful post, as well as very timely as I am making my niece a sling. Can I ask why you choose this type over the type with a ring?

[sally]

Beautiful post Amanda. I love my nursing time with Baby J. Just can't seem to give it up quite yet. I love the oneness we feel with one another. And it is so evident in the smiles of your babes that they know they are truly loved.

[Melissa!]

:) My oldest is turning 12 soon and I see it in her eyes, feel it in her hugs and read it in her cards to us - they hold that love, that simplesimple tenderness, in their hearts and as much as their world grows bigger and their boundaries wider, they love that warmth & security of their parents' arms.
You are a wonderful Mother:)

[dawna]

loved this post, amanda! and this photo of calvin is simply sweet. i want to know more about your sling, too. did you make it or buy it? i've had trouble finding a comfortable sling, especially one comfortable enough for nursing too. as i'm expecting baby number 3 in august, i think it would be worthwhile to have a good sling.

[SOULEMAMA]

The sling in this photo is a New Native Carrier that I purchased (though, this style is very easy to make). I've used and have several other slings (Maya, Rebozo, Mai Tai), and have preferred others at different times. But I always go back to the ease, fit, and portability of this pouch style. It's my favorite. Hope that helps!

[tiffanykapri]

Aw, I love babywearing! I wore my oldest (now 3) nonstop for 2 years and now I am wearing his little sister (6 months). He still loves to be wrapped on my back whenever he gets a chance. He is just so at peace in a sling!

[kristen]

such a beautiful post here.

[Beth]

What a beautiful post :-)

[pokettiger]

Your words are such a beautiful expression of love...brings tears to my eyes

[Mary-Heather]

Amanda, lovely. <3

[andrea]

Thank you for the beautiful post. I am feeling like you, as I watch my little guy grow into a bigger guy, and hope that he always remembers those snuggly nights together and hours of nursing that gave us such a connection. Your words express all of this exactly.

[suzanne sperl]

being the mama of a 1yr old...i can so relate to your words. they grow and change in a blink and our job is to be sure they know - really know - that they are loved, respected, cared for, and safe within our arms and our hearts. ciao bella! ~s

[Vasilisa]

My 1st son is 3 and 15 kilos, but in summer I still carry him on back in an Ergo. Last summer we visited someone across town and on the way back he fell asleep on my back. It was lovely, this tall boy sleeping on my back. I'm not very big myself, so carrying him around is great excercise. He was a fretfull, restless baby and I used to carry him a lot in a Hug-A-Bug. Your prose is lovely.

[Amber A.]

It's such an important foundation for children to come from, to then venture out into the world and share that love with others. I just wish ALL children could have this kind of loving foundation.

[Rebekah]

I'm a new reader, came upon your site while googling "gnome pants" and looking for some gnome print PJ pants for myself. What a wonderful treat your blog is! So refreshing, and thoughtful. I'm so happy I found you here!

I relate so well to this post. My son was 2 when I discovered babywearing (other than the Baby Bjorn) and he loved being in the ring sling and the mei tei, even at the age of 2! My daughter is almost 15 months and we have enjoyed slinging from the start.

Children are absolute treasures. I cherish the marks and memories they leave behind on my person as well. <3

[tamara]

That's really beautiful. I used my sling exclusively for my first two babies and when my twins arrived, I borrowed another sling and used two of them until the combined weight of my babes didn't allow me too anymore. Gosh I miss those days of wee little snuggles and cuddles close to the body knowing full well how safe they feel. We still cuddle and once in a while I use my sling for one of my babes when they need a little extra mumma cuddle, but my babies sure are a lot heavier than they used to be.

[abbyjane]

You write so well about motherhood. I have a Kangaroo Korner sling that I seriously could not live without. I carried Roxanne in their for many many months and for many hours each dya and now Stella is carried every day, too.

When people who are about to have their first baby ask me what they need, I tell them they really don't need anything...except a sling.

[Grace]

Very sweet post. So well said. I love hearing about the sweet and irreplaceable bond of mother and child. I know that they carry it with them throughout their lives. I know I have.

[Tangerine Dreams]

Beautifully put. Thank you. I slung (?) my daughter too and the muscle memory is incredible. Especially the heart muscle.

[knittymama]

You said that so beautifully. I could give up every other "parenting" item I have, except my slings. They are an integral part of me as a mother and I honestly would have no idea how to care for my children w/out it! Makes me sad for all those moms i see dragging carseats and strollers all over the place, never getting a chance to bo that close to their child....

[brooke]

lovely post...makes me want to have more children...

[knittymama]

Sorry, nursing and typing! Too many typos there! :-)

[Ella]

Hurray for slinging. Your honest & lovely words and peeks into your family living are very inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

[Lori]

What a lovely warm post.
I didnt learn of the sling until too late but spent a BUNCH of time in the swivel rocker with each of my 5.
Love....
eye contact
snuggling
certain books we shared
knowing I had a major part in their healthy bodies
sooo many memories...thanks for bringing them to the surface today, I needed it.

[ramona]

oh, what a beautyful post. and all those reminders. yes. it makes me all the more teary. my daughter will be 5 tomorrow. sigh. where did time go? but you are right. it's all there. etched in our bodies, our soul. forever.

[Heather]

so beautiful, you made me cry.

[kate]

i never quite got the sling. i couldn't do it right, but the nice thing is, my hubby could. he carried our son around quite a lot. it was sweet to see. i'll try again with our next one. maybe i can get the hang of it.

[Di]

That was just beautiful Amanda. My youngest is now 14 and although he feels he no longer needs his mothers hugs and kisses - we still have small moments - like this morning - when he climbed into my bed and snuggled his head onto my chest and allowed me to cuddle him. It wasn't for long but I cherished the moment and I was thrilled that he knows when he needs comfort and is not afraid to come to me. Your babes will be the same.

[Heather]

Wow! You couldn't have described the parent/child bond better! Beautiful!!!
By the way, I love your blog....

[kaytee_did]

Oh, Amanda! I have little, wet streams down my face and puddles of tears on my shirt. I'm off to hug my little sweetheart...